i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
