What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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