Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
sex in a hospital.. check
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize