2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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