never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
