Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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