Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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