How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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