Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize