I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
