I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think i got beer on your cat.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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