I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish i was in the wii world.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
