I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
