I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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