i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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