Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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