She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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