Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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