Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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