you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize