I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
