Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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