that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They took my balls.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
