Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
