She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
