I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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