Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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