Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
