New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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