you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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