This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
