sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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