so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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