A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
