Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
