shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
