I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize