just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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