how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
