ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
