I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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