This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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