So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
