it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
