i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
