FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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