This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
