I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
