that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
