I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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