I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
