they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
