Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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