he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
