i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
